Thank You Cards

           

            If you have been invited to a holiday party or get-together, it is important to show your gratitude for the invitation by sending a thank you note, or a thank you email or text at a minimum (or you could always call!)

            There are tons of inexpensive and beautiful cards you can find at Target, Amazon, and Hallmark. Stock up on thank you notes for every occasion for around $5, ranging from birthdays, weddings, parties, and holidays. They last for a long time, and are a great investment for future outings!

            You only need 2 lines to write on the note, but it goes a long way. It shows that you care about the invitation given from the host, and you appreciated the party they threw. Some people stop giving gifts for holidays when they are repeatedly not thanked, because they do not feel appreciated for throwing a party.

          Just think about it this way, if you were on the other end, you would like to be acknowledged for your celebration, and have your guests be grateful to enjoy it with you. It only takes a few seconds to do it, and you were always taught to say “please” and “thank you” so don’t forget to thank your host.

Holiday Place Settings and Decorations

        

             Ever stressing about what kind of table place settings you need for your holiday dinner? How fancy do you need to be? Are you trying to impress your in-laws or parents? Or your friends and coworkers?

            China is beautiful but not necessary in my opinion. China usually is passed down as an heirloom or we’ll register for china if we are getting married, but the formality of the meal is completely up to the host. Beautiful knock off disposal china place settings can be purchased at Costco, Smart and Final, or Party City. Table settings can range from one plate for the main course and one plate for dessert, to multiple plates and courses.

            Decorations are where you can have fun. Name holders for seating makes the feel of the meal more formal, and personally, I like to let people choose where they sit. Sites like Pinterest show amazing table layout arrangements from simple to advanced. If you would like to get the kids involved, you can have them help out with the decorations, maybe making holiday crafts for the occasion, or helping set up the table. This gives you a chance to teach the young ones about place settings and what the different utensils are used for.

            Putting flowers or holiday themed decorations on the table give a very fun and festive look. Candles are great if young children are not present, and make sure you don’t over decorate, you gotta leave room for the food you will place on the table!

            When hosting a holiday dinner, the table place settings will set the mood of the formality of the event. Opt for whatever makes you happy, whatever is easier for you to manage, and don’t stress yourself out! Holiday dinners are for getting to come together with your family and friends and celebrate the holiday season with those you love.

Gifting and (Re)Gifting With Family and Friends at the Holidays

          What do you do when you’re put in an awkward position, by receiving a gift from your friend that you remember giving them for their birthday the year before? Clearly they didn’t like what you gave them, and decided to give it to someone else to get it off of their hands. But that person is you. Should you say something? Or keep it to yourself?

            If I were faced in this kind of situation, I would just say “Thank you” and move on. It isn’t worth the trouble of causing tension or guilt, sometimes your friends might not like what you give them as gifts, just as you might not like everything you receive as a gift either.

            In order to avoid gifting mishaps, like someone giving you a gift and you have nothing in return, set up parameters with family and friends so everyone is on a level field. You don’t want to be the one to show up to the holiday party unprepared as you receive more gifts than you gifted out to others. In doing this, you can set up a dollar amount that is appropriate for the “level” of relationship you have with that person. For example, you would typically spend more money on a gift for your mother than a co-worker, just because of the level of closeness you have with a family member over a friend.

            To mix things up a bit even more, a Secret Santa or gift exchange could a fun way to gift someone an awesome gift, without the pressure of them knowing it is you. Trying to find out who is buying you a present is part of the fun!

         When there are too many people to shop for, always prioritize the children. If you have to skip the adults, they will understand, but the little ones get so much joy out of opening presents, no matter the size or money spent. So pick up a little something for the kids in your family, and watch their eyes light up with excitement. It’s a great feeling knowing the kids are grateful they have someone like you in their lives.

Setting Good Behavior Examples For Kids at the Holidays

            

           Your behavior in front of children and teenagers, either your own or not, has an impact on their expectations on their own behavior, especially during the holidays. Whether it be being grateful during Thanksgiving, or respectful to your family during Christmas or Hanukkah, kids are always watching to see how adults act so they can see how they are supposed to act.

            Holidays are supposed to be for celebration and good times, as soon as you’ve downed a few drinks at your sister’s house, the stories of the good ‘ole days come flowing out. Your kids will hear about how your sister was a daredevil who skipped classes, and how your brother dropped out of college, and how you were always the best at everything you did compared to your friends.

            This is going to teach kids a bad example, and that just because mom and dad or aunt and uncle did it, that it’s okay. You want to be fun loving, but keep it between the adults to reminisce on your crazy college days. Or wait until the kids are out of the room to complain about the gifts, or the venue, or the food. Any negative attitudes are just a downer on the fun, and it shows your kids how to act inappropriately in a holiday setting.

*Citation: Barbara Greenberg, “What Are You Teaching Your Teen About Holiday Behavior?” Huffington Post, February 19, 2013. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-greenberg/holiday-etiquette_b_2328587.html

Holiday Office Parties

       

           There’s always the fear and stress that comes along with going to a work party around the holidays. How formal should I dress? What am I supposed to bring? How am I supposed to act? And so on… There are many Do’s and Don'ts you should take into account for your upcoming office party!

• Do remember that this is a work event, as social as a party may seem, you should be present and display good behavior. No flirting or sloppy behavior.
• Do keep in mind that not all of your co-workers celebrate Christmas, so don’t forget those who may celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanza.
• Do keep your conversations positive, no one likes to listen to someone with a negative attitude complain about work or their personal problems.
• Do dress appropriately. Don’t bring out a dress you would wear with your girlfriends at a nightclub, ask if the dress code is casual or formal, and remember your boss is going to be there!
• Don’t be late. Work events still take into account your behavior and reputation. Treat your coworkers with respect by showing that you value their time and presence.

Hosting In-laws or Your Own Parents at the Holidays

            

            What should you do if family members are coming for the holidays? Do they stay over at your house? How will you entertain them? So many concerns!

            First off, the magic number in this situation is 3. That’s how many nights is the perfect amount of time for a visit from out of town. Any more can become super stressful. If your guests are traveling a far distance, it is okay to encourage them to stay at your house for a few nights, and then ask them to consider staying at a hotel for the rest of the visit. Although it may be uncomfortable to introduce, remind them that it is for their best interest (and yours). You always want to set a timeline for the visit before you make the invitation for them to stay over. You should always discuss this with your significant other, agreeing on a set amount of days and nights they can stay at your house.

            In order to keep your guests entertained, plan an activity for each day. Even if it’s something as simple as a card game or Scrabble, watching a movie after dinner, or taking the grandkids to the park, it gives everyone something to look forward to during their visit.

            You also are not expected to cook for your company every night of the visit. Ordering take out food or going out for dinner is fun and different. And your guests should at least offer to pay for the take out or eating out some of the times.

            Allow and encourage in-laws or your parents to get involved around the house. Everyone wants to feel needed and helpful rather than a burden when staying over at someone else’s home, so use those extra set of hands and let them help clean up after dinner or tidy up the living room.

           Finally, if you need some room to yourself after a long few days, encourage your house guests to take a walk to the nearest park or drop them off at the mall so you can get some alone time at your home, and maybe get some much needed work or rest done!

Hostess Gifts

          

       When invited somewhere, initially ask what you can bring. If you are told "nothing" or "don't worry about it" still don’t show up empty-handed. If they are welcoming you to bring food, bring your favorite holiday dish to share with the rest of the party. If it is a more formal occasion, show up with some flowers, or you can never go wrong with a bottle of wine or champagne to ring in the holiday. Wine charms are also a great gift, or cute paper hand towels for the bathroom are both decorative and useful. This is just a little something that shows you appreciate the host, and are grateful for the invitation to their event. 

       This week is a good week to stock up on hostess gifts for the holiday season if you aren't planning on hosting a party at your house, but you will be attending some in the very near future!

Sick During the Holidays

       Got the sniffles during the winter season? A bad cough at Thanksgiving dinner? What are you going to do so you don’t gross anyone out, but you are still able to join in on the fun?

          Having good manners is important, but having good manners when you’re sick is essential. When you are invited to go to someone’s house, party, celebration, especially during the holiday season, it is an honor being invited to celebrate with that person. You want to treat them with respect, and show up on time, be on your best behavior, and have fun. On top of that, you don’t want to risk anyone else of catching an illness from being in your presence. This is when being clean and having good manners really matters.

        When you’re sick, you really don’t want to get anyone else sick and have him or her go through the same thing you are going through. Wadded up tissues, being tired and fatigued, having no appetite, coughing uncontrollably, it really messes with your productivity. And you aren’t able to enjoy the party like everyone else because you do not feel well.

         Proper etiquette for when you are sick during the holidays would include: letting your host know in advance you are sick, and asking if you should still come, bringing tissues with you, and going into private if you need to blow your nose.

Awkward Holiday Situations

           

    Come the holidays, there are always those relatives or friends that are pressing you for information, or pressuring you to buy “good” presents, or there’s just tension between some people for personal reasons. How do you navigate these situations? The holidays are supposed to be about celebration and fun, not stress and anxiety.

        When family members start questioning your life choices, along the lines of: “When are you getting married?” “What are you going to do after school?” “Why aren’t you dating anyone right now?” “When are you going to have kids?” “Why haven’t you found a new job?” and so on. These can be personal, and stressful questions that you are not obligated to answer. What you should do is be very vague and not get too personal, and redirect the topic by asking your family a question at the end of your statement.* For example: “When are you going to have kids?” your answer could be “I’m working very hard on my career, and I want to travel a bit more before settling down. By the way, how are your kids doing?”*


        The stress of trying to find “good” gifts for those who are very judgmental of what they receive need not be a problem anymore. If there are some picky people to gift for in your life, go broad and generic with your gift purchases. Edible or drinkable items are god, but knowing what the person likes is good to get for someone who is difficult to buy for. Most likely, those tricky gift givers would use hand soap, and again, go very broad with scents, and maybe opt for a “clean” or “fresh” scent. Gift cards are always great too, especially places like Target where you can find anything there!

        Tension can always arise between family members that are in a fight, or a divorced couple who come to the same event. Be respectful, it has to be hard to be at the same party as someone you aren’t too fond of, so don’t air anyone’s dirty laundry and go around gossiping about other people’s personal lives. You want them to have fun just like everyone else, so don’t press them for any information or egg them on to be upset, they want to have a fun night out and celebrate with you! 

*Citation: Kimberly Fusaro, “Navigating Awkward Holiday Situations” Woman’s Day, November 25, 2013, http://www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/advice/a4298/navigating-awkward-holiday-situations-100658/

First Blog Post!

Welcome to our Please Pass the Manners blog! Check out our website pleasepassthemanners.com to check out more about me and my company. In order to gear up for the holiday season, we're going to be blogging tips, tricks, and etiquette on getting through the holidays!